Skipping Diary Tension

I find that if I don't keep this diary between each exercise I built up a huge amount more tension.

GRRRR. I AM ALWAYS WANTING TO RUSH EVERYTHING.

I AM WANTING TO RUSH WARMING UP. WHERE THE FUCK AM I GOING. WHO AM I TRYING TO PROVE MYSELF TO???? FUCK OFF????

.... 25%

Playing on dominant strings is...
- Faster and louder 'attack'. Ubrupt starting sound.
- Larger range of frequency.
- Abrasive.

I think i'll drop out of this concert thing. It's just not really worth it. I'm not even doing a solo and it's exhausting.

I should play with friends for a while. Perhaps my new art friend who plays the piano will be keen.

.... 20%

As dominant strings are more ubrudpt and abrasive I find that they illustrate unskilled bowing more than obligato strings.

35%

I have no idea but since I've change my strings my playing is sounds really bad. Or, perhaps, with new strings I can hear how bad my playing actually sounds....

35%

I'm playing like crap at the moment. Why.
- Worried about a project at work.
- Worried about trying to buy a house.
- Worried about performing in a concert.
- Worried about a girl in London.
- Worried about money in London and the tragic exchange rate of recent.

GRRRRRRRR. Tired. Exhausted. Annoyed. Angry.

The flaws in a musician are reminders of their shortcuts. We all learning differently. Persistance. Passion.

Oh. Also. It might be possible that the way dominant strings vibrate is different to an obligato string. Meaning, the distance between fingers is slight different. That the automatic formation of the hand is slightly different....

In particular, i've found that the first 2 intervals on the dominants seem further from the scroll than they did on the obligato.