Comprehension is more than remember a combination of instructions

I'm starting to realise that the main technical fault with my violin playing is my comprehension of the music I'm trying to play.

It seems there are a few ways to analyse music...
- the phsyical notes.
- the finger.
- the bowing.
- the dynamics.
- the phrasing.

There is a number of technical physical directions in the music, which is great... but there is also something beyond just that. Comprehension is more than remember a combination of instructions. Comprehension is 'why'? Comprehension is taking an interest... Comprehension continues and builds on an idea. Comprehension is not the notes, but the meaning behind the notes.

A book as a number of letters making up a word. But, the story comes together to MEAN SOMETHING.

Music is abstract but it can be understood.

I'm finding that 'comprehending the meaning' of the music is my number issue with technical ability.

I'm not someone that can easily memories music. I haven't memories music in years.

But, whilst playing through my remit of etudes I'm find that the sections I struggle to comprehend are the sections that are technically difficult. The physically complex sections that are easy to understand I seem to have no trouble with....

One simple exercise with this is... Find a single bar that is troubling, try to memories it / understand what it is trying to say, and then try to play it. With the brain engaged it seems to 'prepare' the physical more efficiently!?

Today I realised for the very first time in my life... WHY THE FUCK DO I READ EVERY NOTE WHILST PRACTICING SCALES?!!?!?!? It's as though, if I look at the notes harder the meaning is going to suddenly appear. How ridiculous.

The notes are there to be read and understood. Playing them is a subsequent decision, on a simultaneous one.

In orchestra, the musicians that haven't heard the music and comprehended what the purpose of the movement is always struggle with the notes, even if they are dead simple.

It seems a technical physical research is not going to be enough. It is great to have a basic language of physicality, but to be able to play along with what my mind expects I'm going to have to also focus on improving my ability to comprehend music.

Practicing etudes can help improve both. Even practicing scales (without freaking reading every note) can help.

I seem to remember music I comprehend. It would be great if music wasn't abstract, so I could link it with my physical reality in a obvious way...